Christopher Columbus took off sailing ‘cross the ocean
With three ships and a map he’d made of questionable worth
He was looking for some spices, which is damn strange motivation
Considering the risk back then of falling off the earth

And they say that he changed history, but I guess people forget
He was living in the present, so it wasn’t history yet

Leonardo da Vinci invented the helicopter
And a whole slew of other stuff he lacked the tools to build
Which cheers me up immensely when I going through my closets
Wondering if these poems justify the stuff I’ve killed

And they say that he changed history, well I don’t know about that
He was living in the present, so it wasn’t history yet

John Jacob Astor was headed for disaster
The fateful day the Hindenberg crashed into the Titanic
And oh, the humanity!  How do we keep our sanity
When we are all so small and frail and the world is so gigantic

Joan of Arc felt the spark of Christian intervention
In a little hilltop village she fought the devil to a draw
And after all these years and despite my good intentions
I know I’ll never repay my debt to Joan of Arkansas

Joan of Arkansas . . . .

Every morning across the street from me a man stares out his window
Waiting for the paperboy to deliver him the news
Every day he’s  a little bit older, and I try to notice him changing
But when the paper comes he walks outside in those same old floppy shoes

And they say that we’ll change history, well, I don’t know about that
We’re living in the present and it isn’t history yet
Yeah, we’re living in the present and it isn’t history yet