The wedding went off without a hitch when the tattooed lady left before the ink was dry
The strongman said so long, man, and the fortune-teller couldn’t tell us why
The Siamese twins bought a Mercedes Benz and moved to England so the other one could drive
I wasn’t tall enough to ride the Blind Man’s Bluff, and this whole town rolls up its sidewalks at quarter of five

It was a sad day at the carnival
Everybody just walked around with tears in their eyes
It was a sad day at the carnival
Step right up, break my heart, win a prize

It was a smooth ride on the bumper cars, and the zipper got stuck and left me hanging upside down
Everything was clearer in the funhouse mirror til the bearded lady started twirling her mustaches around
It was scary as hell on the carousel, just going in circles and treading on the same old ground
Saw my best girl on the Tilt a Whirl with some fella who don’t even live in this town

Chorus

Later on I went home and turned the TV on til my old man said the noise was keeping him awake
I crawled up on the roof looking for proof that my whole life hadn’t been one big mistake
That night I dreamed I heard everybody scream when the Ferris Wheel tore off its axis and flew into the sky
No one was saved but all my friends waved and it was like my whole life went spinning by