She makes the best mashed potatoes, she uses lots of garlic and cheese
She’s always out in the garden, I never knew no one who knew so much about bees
She knitted me a sweater once, and for Christmas she gave me a real good pocketknife
I sure do like my friend’s wife

Her middle name is Agnes, not too many people know that
She’s the kind of a girl who always looks good in a hat
And I was there with Jimmy the night that he met her, at a bar called The Trouble and Strife
I sure do like my friend’s wife

Sometimes I just drive around
Sometimes I just watch TV
Sometimes I think the moon
Is looking right straight at me
She was born in Lawrence, Kansas, but she’s lived in Texas all her life
I sure do like my friend’s wife

My mother was a seamstress, she sewed the waistlines at Beauregard Slacks
Jimmy’s daddy was a drinker, he never made nothing but tracks
I can still crack ’em up when I do my impression of Deputy Barney Fife
I sure do like my friend’s wife